tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-315459532012-01-28T21:01:28.826-08:00"And hast thou slain the Jargon Wonks?" Probably not, but here's one place that's dedicated to flaying them with merciless ridicule.Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.comBlogger851100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-13995431659919682582008-08-29T10:24:00.000-07:002008-08-29T10:26:37.763-07:00

In addition to the Lucas Conley book mentioned in my last post, current branding “sciences” are covered in Rob Walker’s 2008 Buying In (subtitled The secret dialogue between what we buy and who we are).Walker is the New York Times Magazine “Consumed” columnist, and he’s not too happy about the lengths to which marketers are going to snag our dollars (or euros or pounds or yen).Compared to the

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-69584109764113486672008-08-19T13:11:00.000-07:002008-08-19T13:14:03.737-07:00

First, what’s “branding?”Lucas Conley quotes a modern branding guru’s explanation: Branding is “about the organization of tangible elements that results in a manifestation of a considered plan.” Further clarification: It’s about “developing and supporting the atmosphere” of a product.This is important, he says, because we consumers “need to romance the experience of anything we deal with.”Conley’

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-35299502664670002322008-05-10T10:57:00.000-07:002008-05-10T10:59:25.626-07:00

The ad in The Wall Street Journal that caught my eye contained the following (I've deleted the company's name):"The entire (company) is committed to transforming words into actions in the realm o sustainable development. In 2008, (the company) aims to turn the constraints related to sustainable development into opportunities, building them into its strategies and offerings in all its businesses."

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-72279723704514792572008-04-09T14:26:00.000-07:002008-04-09T14:28:50.104-07:00

The email asks, with regard to my previous post:"With an ounce of gold moving from around $US 640 to more than $US 830 in 2007, how in hell does a gold-mining company manage to lose $1.9 billion?"I admit, it would appear to be a real challenge. Maybe the "initiatives" management "identified and implemented" were misaligned with the company's "strategy to build sustained value for our shareholders

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-53340009836624405642008-04-06T12:06:00.000-07:002008-04-06T12:08:11.599-07:00

Annual report season is upon us, bringing "sustainable" joy to those of us who love punching holes in blather.Here, the opening sentence of Newmont Mining's CEO letter to shareholders:"2007 was a year of significant change at Newmont as the management team began to re-orient the company and its strategy to build sustained value for our shareholders. In 2007, we identified and implemented

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-25187877533380240662008-04-01T13:49:00.000-07:002008-04-01T13:56:39.587-07:00

If you think blather-speak just turned up yesterday, read the following.***I am going to translate a passage of good English into modern English of the worst sort. Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:"I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-58682823950161231582008-03-14T14:53:00.000-07:002008-03-14T14:59:53.622-07:00

Today's Wall Street Journal reports that Chrysler will shut down almost all its operations for two weeks this summer. One would think, logically, that is an effort to cut costs, but in an email to employees, CEO Robert Nardelli "explains" that the action will "create better alignment and efficiency across organizational lines and boost productivity."Say again? Is this corporate-babble or what?

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-13219259197139159312008-03-02T10:01:00.000-08:002008-03-02T10:04:41.002-08:00

Shortly after my last post citing a Wall Street Journal piece on the use of headwinds, these comments appeared on the Journal's letters page:"I noticed some years ago that the use of the word robust was becoming, well, robust, in corporate communications. I'm wondering if quarterly results now fall woefully short of the mark, will these companies be suffering robust headwinds?""This transition to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-47724735249625412912008-02-16T12:22:00.000-08:002008-02-16T12:24:24.887-08:00

Rather, be wary of business and government bigwigs who've adopted the term as an explanation for failure.Among some quotes from The Wall Street Journal earlier this week:The CEO of General Motors: "We are facing some tough headwinds, particularly here in the U.S. with a relatively weak industry."Yahoo's CEO: "While we continue to face headwinds, we expect our positive momentum to build this year.

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-76474402995196181132008-01-18T13:23:00.001-08:002008-01-18T13:23:57.689-08:00

April One Productions came up with a new twist--taking a phrase that's babble to start with and then changing specific parts of it (automatically, of course) to get just the right words you need.Check it out at:http://www.scottkim.com/newmedia/randomjargon.htmlEmail relory@aol.com.[jargon] [buzzwords] [doublespeak] [gibberish]

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-16283544074005378302007-12-09T09:52:00.000-08:002007-12-09T09:54:50.641-08:00

This one consists four lists. The instructions:Select any phrase in Column A and combine it with any other from each of Columns B, C and D to produce an instant conference remark which will impress the audience with your learning and easy acquaintance with contemporary issues. Or string an a number of phrases together to produce a mind numbing report.Two examples:"Within the frame work of the new

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-84180502009360240982007-11-16T13:35:00.000-08:002007-11-16T13:37:38.081-08:00

It was time to reduce the piles of paper in my office, and I came upon a September invitation from the Public Relations Society of America to attend a local conference. The flier included the roster of 12 speakers and their topics. The reason I'd saved it?The job titles of three of the presenters.Among the more familiar titles--president, senior communication specialist, deputy director, etc.--

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-30203364058360712742007-11-06T14:35:00.000-08:002007-11-06T14:43:12.486-08:00

Or maybe you think you earn the money you receive from your consulting business or the smart moves you make in stock market.Bad thoughts and terrible terminology, according to certain politicians who want to make a grab for that money and give it to others. They have a special piece of babble for what they want, one that is close to the top of my personal list of Most Hated Jargon. Two words: "

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-19740969088076662002007-10-15T14:49:00.000-07:002007-10-15T14:53:04.381-07:00

In recent posts, I've picked on corporate mission statements. Last Friday's Wall Street Journal alerts us to a new trend--mission statements for families.Currently, this seems to be trending among really wealthy folks--hiring an "advisor" to create a statement can cost up to US$100,000. But, since the Journal article is titled "New Status Symbol: Family Mission Statements," it shouldn't be too

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-87454241732498563252007-10-05T14:17:00.001-07:002007-10-05T14:17:54.317-07:00

This has to be a joke. If it isn't, it still is.Email relory@aol.com

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-64265543191604429732007-09-24T14:45:00.000-07:002007-09-24T14:49:54.584-07:00

With the 2008 U.S. presidential race well underway, here's a selection of ballot-hopeful babble we've already heard or read:We'll grow the economy.We're going to reform government.We'll reach across party lines.We're here to serve the American people.We'll fight for working families.We'll empower people.We'll leave no child behind.We must put children first.Our children's future is at stake.We

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-20104688178487070602007-09-11T13:16:00.000-07:002007-09-11T13:20:54.361-07:00

My last two posts were to begin a series of 30 mission statements, those of the Dow Industrials in alphabetical order. I'm aborting the project for two reasons:1. I didn't get too far down the alphabet when I was beginning to feel I was putting my mental health in serious jeopardy.2. Somebody's already done it. Not only the Dow 30, but a lot more besides. The URL is http://

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-4452182570829648452007-08-28T14:03:00.000-07:002007-08-28T14:12:30.305-07:00

Your card should be an American Express card. Certainly you'll agree when you fully comprehend the company's guiding--or core--principles, the list of which begins with their basis in history:Since its founding in 1850, American Express has conducted business according to several guiding principles that over the years have become inextricably linked with the company's brand, products, services

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-12716343252929883082007-08-15T11:22:00.000-07:002007-08-15T11:32:58.735-07:00

Decades ago, I worked for Reynolds Metals. I'm not sure whether the company then had a mission statement or a vision or a set of values. If I had the same job today, however, I'd be working for Alcoa, which bought Reynolds in 1999. I'd be hard pressed to get any work done, though. Because, as the first paragraph of Alcoa's vision statement demands, I'd have to keep all of the following at the top

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-14383748955921407752007-08-10T10:20:00.000-07:002007-08-10T10:22:46.819-07:00

He works for the British Council. His title is "Director Learning, Creativity and Society."His pitch is to potential employees, to whom he affirms, "It's a very exciting time to be joining the British Council."You might tend to disagree after you watch his video--if, that is, you don't nod off before it's finished. The URL:http://dblackie.blogs.com/the_language_business/2007/06/

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-46275240404496168532007-08-06T14:27:00.000-07:002007-08-06T14:34:02.692-07:00

A recent email:"A mild complaint. When I want to find a site you've recommended, I have to dig around to find the post in which you did so. It would be easier if you listed them somewhere."Voila! See the listing below right. I mean, if it delights our customers....Email relory@aol.com.[jargon] [buzzwords] [doublespeak] [gibberish]

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-22929280147883445292007-08-03T11:26:00.000-07:002007-08-03T11:28:52.690-07:00

I bought a new tennis racket this week. I chose the one I did because I liked its:BalanceSweet-spot sizeGripBrand (my last five rackets have been Wilsons), andColors (red, black and white)What was I thinking? When I got the racket home, I had to detach the manufacturer's pitch from the strings. That's when I read what should have been the real reasons for my purchase:"NANO CARBON rackets feature

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-40990177715670847842007-07-29T13:06:00.001-07:002007-07-29T13:06:09.262-07:00

Powerpoint can be a great tool in the hands of a clear communicator. Of course, there are other than clear communicators, as comedian Don McMillan shows in this YouTube video.Email relory@aol.com

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-21864427136688954632007-07-14T13:29:00.000-07:002007-07-14T13:33:57.193-07:00

I collect corporate annual reports for this reason: I give my writing students portions of several letters to shareholders (deleting any financial data) and ask them to label them "profitable year" or "non-profitable year." It doesn't take them long to make this connection:The more flowery, sloganeering and jargonish the writing, the more "disappointing" the results. Here are three examples:1. A

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-21444190060065672622007-07-09T10:32:00.000-07:002007-07-09T10:33:57.142-07:00

It's been a while since my last posting, reasons for which include:o Landscaping a new homeo Selling two old homeso Helping my spouse rehab from a hip replacemento Working to complete a new communication planning course, ando Trying to train a new Shih Tzu puppy in the proper locations for certain natural body functions.Well, the landscaping is complete, one of the two older homes has been sold,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-48971506741489272792007-06-13T13:12:00.000-07:002007-06-13T13:14:14.568-07:00

People in information technology are often accused of loading their talk with jargon, many times rightly. So when the heads of two of the most successful tech companies were interviewed by The Wall Street Journal last month, one could easily expect to hear all kinds of incomprehensibles.One would be wrong.Bill Gates and Steve Jobs talk about their businesses and views of tech future for more than

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-26000493380456314332007-05-23T12:17:00.000-07:002007-05-23T12:22:01.199-07:00

"It's no longer enough for HR professionals to just want to contribute to the bottom line. They need to know how to do this, and have the ability to use what they know."The quote comes from a Ross School of Business (Michigan) professor and appears in an Investor's Business Daily report on a new "study" conducted by the school and RBL Group, an HR consultancy."To ensure they bring the most value

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-6581412098264674152007-05-02T13:31:00.000-07:002007-05-02T13:36:41.271-07:00

In mid-April The Wall Street Journal published an eight-page special section called "Boss Talk" that contained interviews with six large-company CEOs and two consultants.I came close to salivating. What jewels of corporate-speak were awaiting me within?These:One CEO, talking about rating employee effectiveness, suggested companies use classifications of top, strong and lowest performers-he didn't

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-50996726160670902242007-04-24T07:47:00.000-07:002007-04-24T07:51:19.027-07:00

While researching whether the lady's name (in the song "There's a Hole in my Bucket"--see my previous post) was Liza or Eliza, I came across a discussion thread dealing with the song's origins. One comment, purported to be from the European Commission, deserves a wider audience. It follows:The hole has now been fixed. Under EC Directive holes can no longer be allowed to wander about at will for

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-84609717655814875272007-04-12T14:07:00.000-07:002007-04-12T14:10:55.506-07:00

A new word (more correctly, a new use for an old word) is fast graining ground in the corporate world. This, according to a Wall Street Journal article late last month.The word is bucket. Some uses--as noun and verb--the article quotes:"Does it make sense to think of it (in this instance, cash flow) as a whole, or as two buckets?""(Ethanol) doesn't help the conservation efficiency bucket--it

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-23266590958179247912007-03-20T11:37:00.000-07:002007-03-20T11:40:41.124-07:00

My August 21 post (Did jargon bring down the Berlin wall?) talked about a jargon-filled fictional list of "10 Key Strategies" a colleague and I created in the late 1970s. We have been outdone in the real world.Just this past week I came across a page from what I think was part of a PowerPoint presentation. The page, titled "Year-ahead Milestones," was discarded because its exodus from an inkjet

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-54966015654187047092007-03-14T09:49:00.000-07:002007-04-11T17:19:50.663-07:00

Several posts to this blog have steered you toward what I consider to be excellent jargon-flogging sites. A welcome email turned my attention to one I missed:The URL is http://www.corporatejargon.comIt's contributor-based and essentially is an extensive glossary sorted alphabetically. Here are three consecutive entries under D:Deck--Powerpoint presentation. "You need to work on your platform

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-7195553517991329172007-03-07T12:10:00.000-08:002007-03-07T12:12:35.479-08:00

Item 1--two quotes from a Miami Herald story on Lima, Peru:"Like tens of millions of Latin Americans, Pinto is a member of the informal economy. He pays no business or sales taxes.""Most economists say that the high level of informality discourages growth, limits investment in new technology and encourages corruption."Item 2--from just about any day's newspaper in any large U.S city close to the

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-65848957219153431052007-02-27T11:14:00.000-08:002007-02-27T11:17:42.660-08:00

Item from this morning's Houston (Texas) Chronicle:Prosecutors will not refer to a 15-year-old boy who was stabbed in a gang fight last year as a "victim" in the upcoming trial of the girl accused in the slaying.In response to a motion by defense attorneys, Assistant Harris County District Attorney Mia Magness agreed Monday to refer to Gabriel Granillo as the complainant, not the victim.She said

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-19495826647077630092007-02-21T09:43:00.000-08:002007-02-21T09:45:29.744-08:00

The jargon dictionary at the officelife.com defines the first two headline entries as:Acluistic--The state of being completely "without a clue."JDI--Just Do It. Something that your boss believes any reasonable person could complete quickly and simply. "End of discussion. This is a JDI; get it done!"Two others I like from this site:Not the long pole in my tent--something or someone of relatively

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-87314464447407112742007-02-09T11:46:00.000-08:002007-02-07T10:47:12.956-08:00

Learning to use English correctly and clearly is tough enough, as Beijing city officials have found (see my last post), but some Chinese who deal regularly with English speakers are trying to navigate the murkier oddities known as "figures of speech"--a type of confusing jargon we may not recognize as such until someone from another language background takes what we say literally.One puts one's

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-41408610591572212232007-02-07T10:28:00.000-08:002007-02-07T10:47:13.329-08:00

Beijing is trying to stop the laughter.Earlier this week, The Wall Street Journal reported that the city's officials, looking to the throngs of foreigners who will be drawn to the 2008 Summer Olympics, are working overtime to correct "loopy" English-language signs that have long been a source of delight to expatriates working there.Two examples the Journal cites:"Deformed man" outside restrooms

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-54499336171663495672007-01-31T07:49:00.000-08:002007-01-31T07:52:37.493-08:00

The scenario:You're looking to hire someone for a job, the duties of which are substantially below those folks who are somewhat euphemistically called "administrative assistants." Gofer might be a precise job title, as might office flunky, but both of these options might have a negative effect on your new employee's self-esteem.The solution:Spend a few minutes at http://www.bullshitjob.com/

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-74111312082594019432007-01-25T11:24:00.000-08:002007-01-25T11:27:42.468-08:00

If you did as suggested in my last post, you not only read Steve Crescenzo's "refarkal" story but also read the responses to his call for additional pearls of reader-created jargon. If you didn't, you missed this from "Jill":How about "chopportunity"? As we all know, the word "problem" is always a no-no, and since every problem is therefore either a "challenge" or an "opportunity," this could be

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-18998619036928667922007-01-23T10:29:00.000-08:002007-01-23T10:32:03.973-08:00

Steve Crescenzo tells this story on his blog:Two corporate women, fed up with the blatherous pap management was feeding their organization, decided they would1. create a word of gibberish of their own,2. use it often in meetings and one-on-one conversations, and3. see how far up the company "food chain" it would gain use.The word they came up with:Refarkel.Its general meaning, Steve reports, was

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-68634461634141081852007-01-17T16:16:00.000-08:002007-01-18T08:03:34.194-08:00

It's the Word of 2006, according to the American Dialect Society:Plutoed.To be plutoed is to be demoted or devalued. It's sort of what happened to the planet Pluto last year when the universe-savvy International Astronomical Union deemed that--after, lo, these many centuries--it was really a non-planet. Something less than a planet. Something less than what Carl Sagan, my high school science

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-32962911772498374502007-01-10T14:19:00.000-08:002007-01-16T05:28:15.817-08:00

If it's true that things should be taken "in context," I would submit that the verb "definitize" fits perfectly in the "con-text" below.And, no, this is not something made up by the three MIT students discussed in my November 2 post or from any jargon generator (at least, I don't think so). It comes directly from BMPCOE's web site.Representatives from the Best Manufacturing Practices Center of

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-45659462343923003982007-01-10T13:46:00.000-08:002007-01-11T12:30:37.424-08:00

Apologies for perverting Chubby Checker's sacred lyrics but, after all, this blog is all about the perversion of language.In my November 22 post (Definitely management-speak), I confessed to never having run into the verb definitize.Which goes to show how insulated I've become. The following come from web sites that purport to communicate important stuff.The first three are from U.S. government

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-40665816002114855202007-01-08T13:56:00.000-08:002007-01-09T12:49:07.946-08:00

No, Washington D.C. is pouring on the blather as usual. It's the state of Washington that's been making an all-out effort to turn government-speak into plain-speak.The Associated Press reports that in the 18 months since Governor Chris Gregoire ordered all state agencies to adopt "plain talk" principles, some 2000 state employees "have attended classes on writing letters, announcements and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-5686108665787168492007-01-05T12:52:00.000-08:002007-01-05T12:54:36.166-08:00

According to an Associated Press report today, that's not an unimportant question.Here's the story:Last month, U.S. President Bush put his signature on a postal reform act that, in part, requires government agents to get warrants to open first-class letters. He added a "signing statement" which said that the administration would "construe that provision in an manner consistent, to the maximum

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1167847220932528292007-01-03T09:57:00.000-08:002007-01-03T10:00:20.943-08:00

Now that I'm back on line, I can post the following end of year message, courtesy of my brother Clay:***Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1165535842921304432006-12-07T15:56:00.000-08:002006-12-29T10:06:42.410-08:00

Webwise, I'll be out of pocket (= not around) for a non-specific determinable future (= the next few days). We're reimplacing geographically (= moving house) and there's no readily available paradigm (= real way to know) when my telecommunications solutions (= broadband) company will delightfully exceed my expectations (= quickly) have me synergistically communicado (= back on line).A week and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1164922890776638042006-11-30T13:37:00.000-08:002006-12-26T09:13:37.766-08:00

"Our identity management solutions are designed to extend the benefits of lower helpdesk costs, increased security and easier implementation of regulatory compliance to an organization's applications, databases, directories and systems. Identity data, such as names, user ids, passwords, email addresses, phone numbers, group affiliations, roles and access rights are critical to our messaging

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1164228020281987202006-11-22T12:37:00.000-08:002006-11-22T12:40:20.296-08:00

Email from one of my communication course alumnae:I was in a meeting last week when a word that someone used stopped me in my tracks. Initially I thought I'd misheard, but you immediately sprang to mind when the word was used again. The word was "definitize" as in "we can definitize that issue" and "we need to definitize exactly how much time we need."Just thought I'd share this new (to me anyway

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1163102476248148892006-11-09T11:59:00.000-08:002006-11-09T21:53:02.653-08:00

My September 12 post (A closure event) lamented the announced shut-down of the Australian Weaselwords site. I was happy to hear of the following, posted on the site earlier today:"After a review and assessment of existing capacity we have decided that we have the ability in terms of resources to continue to go forward and impact upon business cant and weasel words."http://www.weaselwords.com.au/

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1162929451937384652006-11-07T11:53:00.000-08:002006-11-10T23:01:34.006-08:00

Dakota Indian tribal wisdom says that, when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.However, in business (and government and education)--because we have the thought and language capacities to do so--we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:1. Proactively utilizing a more effective whip.2. Seeking optimization by testing a series of

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1162498154292651472006-11-02T12:03:00.000-08:002006-11-02T12:12:01.663-08:00

In July 2005, three MIT computer science graduate students were delighted that their paper, "Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy," was accepted by World Multi-Conference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics 2005 as a non-reviewed paper.The main reason for their delight was that the entire paper was randomly composed by SCIgen, a program the three

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1162065269377271722006-10-28T12:52:00.000-07:002006-10-28T12:54:29.390-07:00

You know the phrase "laughing through the teardrops?" That's how I felt this afternoon when I finally got around to reading the newspapers that were piling up since my last-Tuesday post titled (no need to scroll down) "An escape from jargon?" in which I lamented there's no English-speaking place that's jargon-free.It now seems there's no time of day you can escape it either. That's according to a

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1161713791632563732006-10-24T11:12:00.000-07:002006-11-01T02:32:49.400-08:00

Commenting on my posts of September 28, October 3 and October 17, she said, "Well, if it gets that bad and you can't stand it, you can always leave."My question: And go where?If you're working in industry, do you think it's any better at most other companies--or in medicine, government, education or non-profits? Think again.If you're working in the U.S., do you think it's any better in other

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1161107538767064822006-10-17T10:46:00.000-07:002006-10-18T10:35:37.343-07:00

Late in my corporate life, the position I held caused me to attend a lot of lengthy meetings at which, one might suppose (I know I did at first), the attendees were to decide on some course of action. This rarely happened.A recurring reason: Someone, after hearing the proposal, would rub his (the person was almost always male) chin and, like some somber-toned ancient sage commenting upon the Fate

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1160689439910723382006-10-12T14:42:00.000-07:002006-10-12T14:43:59.926-07:00

The Plain English Campaign began in the U.K. almost 30 years ago, which gives you an idea how long gibberish in our language has been a recognized problem. The Campaign officially began in 1979, after founder Chrissie Maher OBE publicly shredded hundreds of official documents in London's Parliament Square.When you visit www.plainenglish.co.uk, be sure to check out their annual "Golden Bull" and

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1160520747939491412006-10-10T15:44:00.000-07:002006-10-10T15:52:27.953-07:00

The London-based Clarity Business Solutions in Writing group has come up with a buzzword-filled business-proposal generator that should afford you several minutes of on-line laughs. Here's an example:***IntroductionWhile it is noted that integration within innovation grows by 67% every three years, conversely synergy always unleashes process around an opportunity. In seeking to populate the value

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1160081850594568242006-10-05T13:55:00.000-07:002006-10-05T13:57:30.610-07:00

Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator composes weirdly elegant bombasts targeting the individual or organization of your choice. Examples of each follow.Individual example:Mawkish. Mean-spirited. Rude. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Mr. Bob Lory. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: Mr. Lory's shenanigans are

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1159878717890653582006-10-03T05:24:00.000-07:002006-10-03T05:31:57.906-07:00

The company she works for pays a healthy year-end bonus for meeting preset individual goals. She selected two that, if met, would increase the effectiveness of the section she manages. No problem there.The problem was "alignment." Her goals had to be aligned with those of the division manager she reports to. His goals--given to her in writing (and presumably approved by his boss)--were:1.

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1159475757882614792006-09-28T13:31:00.000-07:002006-09-28T13:46:19.466-07:00

The culture was such at a large company I've worked with that senior managers would approve a plan, strategy or tactical move with two variations of the same caveat.They would instruct their minions to "take prudent action" or "proceed, as appropriate."The beauty of this kind of "okay" was that--if the plan, strategy or tactical move failed in any important way--the manager was protected because,

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1159301051679789562006-09-26T12:56:00.000-07:002006-09-26T13:04:11.696-07:00

In a business world where every change, no matter how small, must be justified by being in synergistic fit with some over-arching strategy, windbag memos like the following (brought to me by a writing student) are all too common:(To protect the guilty and--more important--the innocent, I've changed the names of all departments and individuals.)Flagellation Services transitions to Pain Supply

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1158866034214680902006-09-21T12:09:00.000-07:002006-09-21T12:13:54.230-07:00

Some words and phrases I've seen recently:o Fast-paced team atmosphereo Interfacing with a variety of clientso Proactively envisioning communication needso Envisioning solutionso Strategic visiono Relationship buildingo Creative managemento Promoted, enhanced and improved client's visibilityo Developed and implemented strategic communication projects enhancing awarenesso Conceptualizedo

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1158700100257862532006-09-19T14:05:00.000-07:002006-09-19T14:08:20.270-07:00

Here are three sites I found since my last post:1. http://www.buzzwhack.com/buzzcomp/indm.htmHere you'll find alphabetically-listed words or phrases with quasi-definitions. Here are two that were new to me:marital rupture: Used by those who feel "divorce" needs to sound more clinical. "Julie has suffered through two marital ruptures in the past 10 years."marketecture: A hype-laden description

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1158265691245703372006-09-14T13:23:00.000-07:002006-09-14T13:28:11.253-07:00

In addition to jargon-generator sites recommended in previous posts, here are three more I like:1. http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/.Here you simply enter a company name, and you get several paragraphs you can use to tout your capabilities. Here's a small part of what I received:We here at Lory Proactive Services have come to know that it is better to optimize ultra-globally than to

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1158082777146954822006-09-12T10:29:00.000-07:002006-09-12T10:39:37.190-07:00

My August 29 post, An Australian site for sore eyes, highlighted what has become one of my favorite jargon-related web sites. It is, therefore, with a measure of pain that I reproduce here the following announcement from that site:A Closure Event: weaselwords.com.au to be non-continuing.Dear Valued Stakeholders,The timeframe for this site is approaching permanent disconnect. In terms of going

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1157659953352047072006-09-07T13:05:00.000-07:002006-09-07T13:12:34.450-07:00

In a recent Miami Herald column, Ana Veciana-Suarez points out that, once again, for the sake our kids' "self-esteem," another politically correct bureaucracy--this time the U.S. Centers for Disease Control--is trying to hide reality by a substitution of labels. Diverting from the terms it uses for adults, the CDC, she writes,does not employ the word "obese" for children in the 95th percentile

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1157484338583245682006-09-05T12:21:00.000-07:002006-09-05T12:25:41.080-07:00

For many of my early years in communication, the word "issue" caused an itching under my skin that no amount of self-scratching would make go away. When I finally got the chance to run a regional segment of a multinational corporation's combined PR, GR and marketing communication function, my first new law of the land was, "We will deal no more with issues."My logic:We can plan how to deal with a

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1157058219603462182006-08-31T13:57:00.000-07:002006-08-31T14:03:39.613-07:00

A co-worker and I, both based in Brussels, passed a short document back and forth for about two weeks before we felt we had it right. It follows:Our Ten Key Strategies1. Optimize challenging functional excellence2. Position brand for revenue maximization in key niche markets3. Vigorously sustain overall pro-activity in targeted business segments4. Aggressively pursue and attain corporate vision

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1156872009009991982006-08-29T10:14:00.000-07:002006-08-29T10:20:09.256-07:00

My August 2 post ("Mocking the jargoneer") cited Australian writer Don Watson's Death Sentences. After the book's publication, the email responses were so many that, about two years ago, a web site devoted to Weasel Words (the book's title in the U.K.) opened for (funny) business.At http://www.weaselwords.com.au, you'll find gems of gibberish from a wide variety of (mostly Australian) sources--

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1156432941013493962006-08-24T08:18:00.000-07:002006-08-24T08:22:21.030-07:00

Think about the people, past or present, you admire.Now think about the kind of words they use(d).Now make the connection.Businessmen. Can you imagine Henry Ford talking about optimizing manufacturing or positioning his products? John D. Rockerfeller? Andrew Carnegie? Which one of them might lecture on a strategic deliverable?Military commanders. Spartan King Leonidas didn't tell his troops at

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1156266277273077492006-08-22T09:57:00.000-07:002006-08-22T10:51:26.123-07:00

Yes, I found one--and it results from the synchronistic synergy of my most recent post and a Wall Street Journal article published earlier this month about a problem many corporate and government computer users are facing.Namely, the difficulty in trying to remember either multiple passwords or having to change passwords frequently--or both. Plus the need to come up with passwords that can't

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1155828509997061582006-08-17T08:22:00.000-07:002006-08-17T13:52:08.356-07:00

Back in the late 1960s, a couple of Texas Instruments engineers came up with what they called a "jargon generator." It consisted of three adjoining lists--of verbs, adjectives and nouns. When you selected one word from each column and put them together, you had an impressive (to some) phrase of jargon.Today, of course, we have computers that can take similar lists and randomly produce gems like:-

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1155665600407737502006-08-15T11:11:00.000-07:002006-08-15T11:13:20.420-07:00

In my last post I referred to the old (and, for some, still current) advice that, if we used a word three times, it was "ours." Seems that some news-release writers recall the advice, too--although they may not always stop at three.A few months ago, The Wall Street Journal ran part of a Citigroup Inc. announcement and asked if readers could guess the business focus of the company unit highlighted

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1155316026297890942006-08-11T09:59:00.000-07:002006-08-14T09:30:50.040-07:00

1. Recall Alice's confession after reading the Jabberwocky poem: "Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas--only I don't exactly know what they are!"2. Consider this confession from a corporate writing student of mine named Larry after paging through no more than a third of William Lutz's Doublespeak (required reading in my course): "This guy's nailed me. That's how I write. I even speak that

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1155138402502706842006-08-09T08:39:00.000-07:002006-08-09T08:46:44.920-07:00

Those of us of us from countries where English is the mother tongue have a tough enough time understanding management-speak, but what about others in our so-called global companies who have to wade through swamps full of English jargon to try to gain some glimmer of meaning.Example: At an overhead slide (viewgraph or "vugraph") presentation in the late 1970s, I noticed a native Belgian whose

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1154968189088190242006-08-07T09:21:00.000-07:002006-08-07T09:29:49.150-07:00

Some years ago I wrote a piece on how Murphy's Law (If anything can go wrong, it will) applied directly to the corporate scribe profession. (It appeared in Communication World, published by the International Association of Business Communicators.)As a sidebar to the main article, I observed that Murphy couldn't have been a businessman. Had he been, I argued, "he would have immediately grasped the

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1154712962509205292006-08-04T10:25:00.000-07:002006-08-08T20:23:38.896-07:00

A woman I know is putting herself through graduate school by waiting tables at a high-end restaurant. "All along, I thought my job was to give my customers good service," she told me. She was wondering, after a staff meeting with the restaurant owner, just what she was going to do differently in order to "facilitate an enhanced and delightful dining experience" for the people she waited on.This

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1154531356798988412006-08-02T08:05:00.000-07:002006-08-02T10:18:12.780-07:00

Case study 1: In a worldwide planning meeting, the representative from Canada jumped on something I'd said with, "This really is something we should dialogue about.""Gee," I replied. "That sounds a little heavy before lunch. Could we just talk about it instead?"Case study 2: My deputy manager Joe received an email, subject worldwide XXX news release, from one of our regional public relations

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1154363238968573342006-07-31T09:23:00.000-07:002006-08-11T13:52:28.446-07:00

Global Language Monitor is a San Francisco-based non-profit group that does what its name says (which you've got to find refreshing). Among other things, it provides an annual list of "most politically correct" words which, very often, are poor substitutes for the words they're meant to replace.The list for 2005 contained two gems.The first was "thought shower," suggested to replace "brainstorm.

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1153955300283531912006-07-26T16:05:00.000-07:002006-07-26T16:08:20.290-07:00

Fresh from today's Wall Street news:Late yesterday, Amazon.com reported (poor) earnings along with some details about the company's plans and outlook.Today, from yesterday's close of $33.59, it closed at $26.20. That's a downward plunge of $7.39 or a one-day drop of 22 percent.An analyst with a large mutual fund said he thought "investors overreacted to Tuesday's earnings report and guidance.""

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1153937823728352202006-07-26T11:13:00.000-07:002006-07-26T11:17:03.736-07:00

These days, everybody seems to be deep into commitment. Companies are "committed" to "enhance" the "delight" of their customers. Most politicians are committed to "free but fair" trade where everyone is "on a level playing field." Marriage partners are committed to making their unions "work."If you or I don't exactly know what this commitment entails, we should feel free to ask. Does the

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1153781741453961582006-07-24T15:45:00.000-07:002006-07-25T08:20:40.300-07:00

The three verbs above--a formula for success? Indeed so, if you believe a consulting group's newsletter commenting on Customer Relationship Management (CRM) software:"IT organizations should landscape the scale and scope of CRM efforts as an iterative/continual business strategy by fixating on customer patterns and the ETFS life cycle (engage, transact, fulfill, service) to deconstruct ossified

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1153765523869689592006-07-24T11:20:00.000-07:002006-07-24T11:25:23.880-07:00

To be sure we're all "on the same page," here--as I see it--are the four categories of jargon:Technical jargon. These are words and concepts that are used within any field of study-e.g., geophysics, chemical engineering, medicine, law, music, sports. They're excellent shorthand for people within these fields and we should have no quarrel with their use-inside their respective fields. It's only

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1153685898057925982006-07-23T13:14:00.000-07:002006-08-02T08:11:48.940-07:00

I'm Bob Lory, and my current work is training professional communicators. I teach a month-long course--one-on-one or in groups of two or three--to help them manage their words and the media in which their words appear.My background in brief:o I've almost 30 years writing and managing employee communication, public relations, marketing promotion and advertising--for most of these years with

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31545953.post-1153678369374881862006-07-23T10:59:00.000-07:002006-07-23T14:32:34.596-07:00

In Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, Alice reads a poem titled Jabberwocky. You may know all or part of it but, for the record, these are the words she reads:'Twas brillig, and the slithy tovesDid gyre and gimble in the wabe;All mimsy were the borogoves,And the mome raths outgrabe."Beware the Jabberwock, my son!The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!Beware the Jubjub bird, and shunThe

Bob Lorynoreply@blogger.com0